Gay Mormon guy apparently chose not to publish my comment to this post. I want to say I think he is doing something admirable, helping members of the church change their predjudices about homosexuality. Still, I feel the right to publish my own comment, so I'll go ahead and write about it here. My comment is as follows:
This is something I’ve been thinking about for awhile now. I’m like you, a gay Mormon guy. As of recently, I’m a divorced gay Mormon guy. So where does that leave me in the kingdom of God?
I get frustrated when I talk with family members and they tell me that I should pray to God to “overcome my Same-sex attraction.” I know in my heart they are wrong. It can’t be overcome. I’m going to feel these feelings and attractions the rest of my life. It’s…natural. And we don’t ask people with “opposite-sex attraction” to overcome or pray away their feelings of attraction for the opposite sex. We tell them to wait until marriage. We tell them to “bridle their passions.” It should be the same with people who are gay.
The more I research and talk to people in the LGBT community, the more I realize how natural it all is. They love each other. They have fulfilling relationships. They in some cases have great families.
The more I experience, I realize that being in a relationship with someone of the same-sex is completely natural. For a long time, I used this as a sort of justification for saying that the church can’t be true, the church is wrong. I think a lot of people feel my frustration. People tell you that just being you is wrong, when it isn’t. Luckily, Elder Holland seems to understand.
But the issue isn’t whether or not it is natural. If you are a believing latter-day saint, you believe in the law of chastity. If you take a step back, it’s perfectly natural for a man and a woman to have sex. It’s maybe the most natural thing that there is. That doesn’t mean that it is allowed under the laws of God or the church. You still have to be married even if it’s natural.
Do people who aren’t married love each other? Absolutely. Do they sometimes have kids and are they good parents. Yes!
Should we condemn and hate people that don’t follow the law of chastity? Of course not! That goes for gay or straight people. We are supposed to welcome people and teach them the gospel.
I respect your decision, but let me tell you, I don’t think I can make it. I’m struggling with it. Because if all I was giving up was having sex, that’s one thing.
But I’m not allowed under the church to be married to the person I can love and be in a fulfilling relationship with. This would take much longer to explain than I possibly could in a few lines, but I was physically and psychologically incapable of giving my wife the love she deserves. I was married for three years before I finally came to that realization. It was/is hard.
And so my dream in life is to have a family. It’s to find someone I love and who loves me back. This is not an unrighteous desire! I believe that God wants me to be happy. And though this isn’t unique to gays and lesbians, to tell me that I can never have a family, I can never have the love and companionship of a spouse, to tell me that I can never have the happiness I want, doesn't feel right. Unlike my lovely heterosexual brothers and sisters, I can’t choose to obey the law of chastity by getting married. I can’t work towards being married. So while in essence the law of chastity is the same as heterosexuals who never marry, in my case there isn’t even the possibility. I can only choose to obey it by being celibate.
I don’t know how to make that choice.